Random Thoughts at 3AM

“As if you were on fire from within.

The moon lives in the lining of your skin.”

― Pablo Neruda

First of all, I’m hungry.

Second, my ankle is swollen because I sprained it earlier while playing basketball. It sucks. Walking hurts, and every step feels like punishment.

Third, I’m bored.

And fourth, I can’t sleep.

Anyway… It’s been months since I last updated this blog.

Why? Because adulting sucks.

There’s just too much to do. Wake up. Work all night. Deal with people halfway across the world who can’t pay their bills. That’s the routine. A bloody, repetitive, soul-sucking routine.

(sigh)

I am sitting again here at my desk, thinking of the best words to write again. I miss those days when I had a good time for myself writing those stories, poems, and letters, with no other interruptions. Right now, it’s hard to find time to pursue what you want meant for. But anyway, we must be practical because I earned no money from writing those words just to post them elsewhere. So, I got this job, earning $230 per month. And that’s enough for rentals. After many months of working in this industry, I realize that I am losing ground from where I was meant to be. I slowly forget my dream and destiny (I want to be an author; in case you don’t know). I tried many times to start over again, like writing some drafts and thinking creatively, and those things might help me get back what I have started. But I failed. And here I am again, still trying to figure out where I should start. And I keep trying because I know that the more you try, the more ideas you can get. And those ideas that you do have, you’re going to pick the effective one.

(smiles)

Sometimes we think that we are losing what we meant for, but we don’t realize that sometimes discovering is more enjoyable than getting stuck in our habits. A passion that we used to have has always been in our minds. We must accept that life is not always getting stuck in one thing; life is like having a tremendous machine that cycles in our daily lives.  Whenever you go, your passion will stick in your head. And if you know yourself, you will know how to get back to the start.

 

"You think, therefore, you are."