random thoughts at 3 am

“As if you were on fire from within.

The moon lives in the lining of your skin.”

― Pablo Neruda

First of all, I am very hungry. Second, my ankle is swollen because I sprained it earlier when I played basketball. Sucks. I am having a hard time and pain walking. The third is I’m bored. And fourth, I can’t sleep. But anyway, for how many months I haven’t updated my blog again. Adulting sucks. We have too many responsibilities to do. Wake up and work at night and you must deal with those Americans who can’t pay bills. That’s the routine. A bloody hell routine.

(sigh)

I am sitting again here at my desk thinking of the best words to write again. I miss those days that having a good time for myself writing those stories, poems, and letters, with no other interruptions. Right now, it’s hard to find time to pursue what you want meant for. But anyway, we must be practical because I earned no money from writing those words just to post them elsewhere. So, I got this job, earning $230 per month. And that’s enough for rentals. After many months of working in this industry, I realize that I am losing from where I was meant to be. I slowly forget my dream and destiny (I want to be an author; in case you don’t know). I tried many times to start over again, like writing some drafts and thinking creatively, and those things might help me get back what I have started. But I failed. And here I am again, still trying to figure out where should I start. And I keep trying because I know that the more you try, the more ideas that you can get. And those ideas that you do have, you’re going pick the effective one.

(smiles)

Sometimes we think that we are losing what meant for, but we didn’t realize that sometimes discovering is more enjoyable than getting stuck to our habits. A passion that we used to have been always in our minds. We must accept that life is not always getting stuck in one thing, life is like having a tremendous machine that cycles in our daily lives.  Whenever you go, your passion will stick in your head. And if you know yourself, you will know how to get back to start.

 

"You think, therefore, you are."